Poor Eddie

Thanks to Samantha "Chip" Bolton for this one:

A man on his way home from work, comes to a dead halt in traffic and thinks to himself, "This traffic seems worse than usual. Nothing's even moving."

He notices a police officer walking back and forth between the lines of cars, so he rolls down his window and asks, "Constable, what's the hold up?"

The constable replies, "It's Eddie McGuire. He's just so depressed about his personal life - the thought of moving with Carla & Joseph to Sydney and the state of disruption amongst his beloved Magpies, Channel Nine losing the football coverage, having to give up The Footy Show, Who wants to be a Millionaire, and his Triple M radio show, that he's
stopped his motorcade in the middle of the freeway and he's threatening to douse himself in petrol and set himself on fire.

He says his family hates him and he doesn't have the money to pay for the new house renovations at Point Piper and to bring his current house in Toorak up to scratch to put it on the market. We're taking up a collection for him."

"Oh really? How much have you got so far?"

"About three hundred litres, but a lot of people are still siphoning."