Saturday, April 22, 2006

Australia Sends Commando Politicians To Solomons

Australia's Foreign Minister has announced a new aid package to the Solomon Islands
Coastal redevelopments, utilities privatisation and a massive infrastucture upgrade have been cited by Mr Downer as the cure for the current wave of anarchy sweeping the country.

"If they don't like Chinese profiteers, wait till they clap eyes on Halliburton" Mr Downer told a FOX reporter. "Sure, they won't get their country back till the fifty-year lease runs out, but if they want aid, they have to do as they're told."

Mr Downer said that his visit to the Solomons made him appear to be a decisive leader. "This will make people forget how much of an ineffectual dimwit the AWB Inquiry has shown me to be. Apart from that I can set up some really great investment opportunities that will increase my dividends."

"We're going to teach local politicians how to take kickbacks, use inside information and generally keep getting richer. They'll be as efficient as Australian pollies in weeks!"

Mr Downer's visit will be shortly followed by an appearance by Australian PM John Howard the day after the next bad news from the AWB Inquiry.


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