Sunday, September 24, 2006

ABC Christmas Serve

The ABC copped a serve on the Channel Nine comedy show The Late Shift on Sunday night. The scene is Christmas dinner and everyone's reading their bonbon jokes.

Little Bobby goes first "Why didn't the Coalition find weapons of mass destruction in Iraq. Because the invasion was based on a tissue of lies so that the US could get Iraq's resources" Everyone murmurs politely then Aunty Beryl reads out "What's the difference between George Bush and Nelson Mandela? George Bush is an arsehole"

Quizzical looks go around the table, then Uncle Fred reads "What do you get when you cross a weasel with a rodent? John Howard." Dad now says to Mum "Where exactly did you buy the crackers?" to which Mum replies

"ABC shop."

Parts of this abridged due to lack of recollection. Must say that it is rough treatment of the ABC.. if they weren't tell us what's actually happening then nobody would be.

Friday, September 22, 2006

Getting Your Goat

(From the Sudan Tribune) A certain Mr Tombe was caught having an intimate relation with a goat belonging to a Mr Alifi at Hai Malakal — Upper Nile State, southern Sudan — on February 13. Tombe was ordered to pay the goat’s dowry and take the animal as his wife .

Mr Alifi said: "It was around midnight when Tombe came to do his nonsense on my goat, and I was already in bed inside my house. Suddenly , I heard the goat make a loud noise. Immediately, I rushed outside to find Mr Tombe was naked and engaged in a relation with my goat . When I asked him what are you doing there, he fell off the back of the goat, so I captured and tied him up".

Alifi then brought some elders to decide the fate of the goat defiler.

"They said I should not take him to the police , but rather let him pay a dowry for my goat because he used it as his wife."

Mr Tombe agreed immediately to pay for the goat, and paid half the dowry 150,000 Sudanese dinars up front.

"We have given him the goat, and as far as we know , they are still together", Mr Alifi concluded.

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

Having It Off..

The bloody car prang means that I can't bang
Of my willie there's only a stump
And despite all me missus's loving and kisseses
You can't have a hump with a lump

The doctors come along with a fairly good schlong
only four inches, but servicable.
You'd have to be silly to turn down a willie
I think I might name it Percival.

It's a week since the op, and Percy won't stop
standing proudly erect for a tumble
It seems that this boner has the tastes of the owner
who had him before.. mustn't grumble.

In the conjugal bed, as I groveeled and plead.
My missus just laughed in my face
"In church I did promise to love your John Thomas,
not Percival here in his place."

"Fuck's sake" I said shittily (and I meant it quite literally)
"What's a man got to do for a nooky?"
If I can't have it off then life's pretty rough.
I felt, I must say, pretty sooky.

If my wife finds it ghoulish (I reckon she's foolish)
to coitus with another bloke's penis
Then I'll have one more op and give Percy the chop,
leave Her Ladyship stranded on Venus.

Unfortunately for Percival his fate was reversible
He was cut off and wrapped in newspaper.
My wife was none the wiser when she saw it in the Tiser.
and that is the end of this caper.

Based on this story

Monday, September 18, 2006

Questions On The Kovco Tapes", Sky Television Inquiry Infiltration Scare

Questions On The" Kovco Tapes", Sky Television Infiltration Scare

The personal blog entry was updated.

There's a video link from the inquiry room to that which the journalists watch from. Vision from the Kovco inquiry is supposed to go to no other place even within the amry barracks at which the hearing is being held. Howvever the Daily Telegraph reported that the inquiry has been halted, all of the journalists evicted from their room and their belongings searched, due to a believed wire-tap by Sky News. Sky and the Tele have since reported that this was not the case. The fact, however, that the inquiry believed that an infiltration occurred and acted accordingly belies the level of paranoia at which the inquiry is being conducted. Perhaps the Austtralian public should consider a similar methodology.

The videos of Australian soldiers behaving badly have been inextricably linked in the minds of the Australian public with the death of Private Jake Kovco. In the same manner that the "new footage" of Osama "plotting the twin towers" attack, the first of its kind have tied Osama to the current rounds of the "War On Terror", the new tapes from Baghdad, which appeared on the net just as Kovco's detachment returned home, imply by association that Kovco was involved in the politically incorrect horseplay.

On of the earlier stories doing the rounds was that Kovco was miming to the Cranberries song Zombie (you know the one.." in your heeead, in your heeaad..) when the gun went off. Even though the new video proves that similar activities did occur, it does not, according to any reports so far, show Jake Kovco doing any such thing. However, guilt by association has already begun. There are already reports that the inquiry will at least partially blame Kovco for his demise.

I didn't buy the "fooling around:" story the first time around, and I still don't. The new Osama footage was "discovered" just in time to be inserted into the S11 5th anniversary docos on Sunday night, and it appears to me that the "discovery" of the Army tapes may have been carried out with a similar intent in mind.

Whether directly related or not, the swapping of the two bodies is still of great concern. A Halliburton contractor with a moustache, wristband, correct body bag tag (even with the correct passport number) was substituted for a clean shaven man with an orange neck brace and dental equipment around his mouth.. Personally I can't understand that the wives of US truckers working for the company in Iraq aren't up in arms that their loved one's employers have sent the corpse of a co-worker to the wrong country. Probably they don't know about it. At any rate, at least one of the dead Australian soldier's relatives worked in the undertaking profession and was able to care for the body Juso Sunanovich until he was repatriated.

Who knows, given the crazy world of Iraq, the two deaths may be related in other ways. To ensure that Kovco's reputation is finally treated with respect, this avenue of inquiry needs to be pursued as avidly as the others.

If the "Kovco Tapes" turn out to be, like the Defence Minister's statement and the Military Police's "interviews" with the other soldiers, to be prefabricated and at least partially false, I hope Brendan Nelson loses his job.

Back to the Inquiry today, and Shelley Kovco has voiced similar concerns about the mistakes in Kovco's repatration. She say that Defence thought it would "look good" if Kovco came home on Anzac day. I wonder how good it would look if television pictures of Haliburton's body going to the wrong place were broadcast in Texas? It would be almost as bad as what went wrong in the Wag The Dog plot.

Sunday, September 17, 2006

Smelling Like Project Rose- AWB Documents Ordered Handed OVer

The old saying is that a person might be so lucky as to fall into a bucket of manure and come out smelling like roses. There's a fair chance that whoever named the AWB's reputation recovery plan may have been overly optimistic.

Along with their departments, three Australian ministers, those of Defence, Trade and Foreign Affairs, are now swimming in that proverbial bucket.

Project Rose was conceived when AWB knew that the UN Oil-For-Food Inquiry was going to suggest that the company was bribing Saddam for wheat deals by giving him money to buy weapons with. It is also likely to be connected with the activities of Australia's ambassador to the U.S. as another part of a continued cover-up program to conceal that AWB, a formerly Government controlled agency, was funding what became an enemy army.

Today the courts have ordered that AWB hand over piles of documents it didn't wish the Australian Inquiry into the matter to possess. It managed to suppress some, but over half the documents that it wished concealed will now become available for public scrutiny.

Thursday, September 14, 2006

George Bush Creates Religious Awakening?

George W. Bush, leader of the last standing Superpower in the world, believes there is a new surge of religious awakening going on. He probably also believes he created it, and that when people exclaim "Jesus Christ" at his speeches that they believe they're witnessing the Second Coming. In fact many people lament the First Coming, and ponder how different our world would be if President Dad had worn a condom.

Here's the Reuters report from last Wednesday

President George W. Bush
believes the United States has embarked on the latest great religious awakening of its history.

Bush, who counts on religious conservatives as a key base of political support, was quoted as saying on Tuesday that the United States appeared to be undergoing a cultural change on the scale of that seen in the 1950s and '60s.

"There was a pretty stark change in the culture of the '50s and the '60s. I mean, boom. But I think something is happening here," Bush said at a roundtable with conservative columnists. His words were reported by the National Review magazine.

"I'm not giving you a definitive statement -- it seems like to me there's a Third Awakening with a cultural change," Bush said.

Historians have pointed to periods such as the early 1700s and early 1800s, as times in which religious movements were particularly significant in America.

Those eras are referred to as Great Awakenings, although there is disagreement on how many there have been. In one such period, in the 1730s and 1740s, religious revivals in the United States coincided with similar movements in Germany and England.

An awakening in the 1800s is credited with helping to inspire the movement to abolish slavery in the United States.

Bush, a Methodist, often talks about the importance of faith in his life. Some critics seeing this as crossing a line between religion and politics, and his frequent references to religion are viewed with particular unease abroad.

Amid growing U.S. concerns about the

Iraq war, The National Review article linked Bush's rejection of a pullout to his religious faith.

"I know it upsets people when I ascribe that to my belief in an Almighty, and that I believe a gift from that Almighty is universal freedom. That's what I believe," Bush said.

Monday, September 04, 2006

Doctor Who - The 666 story

The massive, horned Beast The episodes of Doctor Who that were screened on the weekends surrounding 6/6/06 concern the freeing of an ancient Beast from beyond the dawn of time.

The story, currently being broadcast in Australia, must have made many more people aware of the possible symbolism of the date than if it had been broadcast at another time. To achieve this would have required a considerable timespan of forward planning, and you have to wonder whether the writers and producers were simply timing for dramatic effenct and publicity or whether they may have been attempting to alert the populace to vigiliance of possible psychological manipulation of events emenating from that point in time.

I have to confess that I watched them fairly soon after they were broadcast. I won't say any more... it'll spoil the ending.

Anyway, while you're enjoying the conclusion to the two-parter on Saturday night, have a think about what I'm saying really.

PS Lovely bit of serendipity that the ABC is concluding the story two days before September 11.
PPS Sorry.. this is the last 666 I'll be doing for now. Just stressing a point.